Intro to My Book (prologue)

Names were changed to protect the innocent

"Can i get you anything else?"
"Yeah, how about your number?" What was my aunt doing? I had playfully mentioned how cute the drive-thru attendent was a few moments earlier. I didn't think she would take that as an open invitation to get the digits for me.
I sat there speechless, embarrassed, and nervous. 
"What?" she said as if she was hard of hearing at the young age of seventeen.
"My nephew think you cute and he about to go off to college and he need a friend to talk to before he leave."
Our eyes met for the first time. I was blushing like my crush had finally noticed me, though that was my first time seeing her. I wanted to tell her it was just a joke or don't worry about it, but I couldn't cause I really did want to holla. I don't remember what happened next or what was said, but next thing I know my mama, who was driving, passed back the number written on receipt paper fed through the printer with the name Smiley written on it. That look you get when you open that one present you wanted for Christmas painted across my face. I don't think even the Chesser cat would consider competing with that smile. I was excited.
"Bye"  I guess she was too, because she didn't bother handing our food out the window.
Needless to say we all got a good laugh on the way home. I could barely believe it, there I sat between my grandpa and my lil brother in the back seat of that green explorer programming the number into my phone. I began to wonder was this even the right number. A fear started to creep up; had she just written a number down to save me the embarrassment of rejection in front of my family.

"Is this Smiley?" The first ever text, my suspicions must've been showing. "Yes lol" she replied. Then "Who else would it be?"
"Oh just making sure."
"Lol you thought I gave you the wrong number?" I actually did but I wasn't bout to admit it to her fine ass.

Should I keep writing?

Success Requirements

Success Requirements

1. Purpose
2. Struggle
3. Sacrifice
4. Planning
5. Discipline

1. Purpose- My purpose is to ensure through my actions my children, family, friends, and all that I encounter are prepared for a life without me. A life that will, itself, be purposeful and fulfilling.

2. Struggle- The struggle that endure is against the status quo and expectation of me, as well as the flaws within myself. Being a Black American male in his mid-twenties comes with preconceived notions of ignorance, violence, senselessness, and a lack of class. Through my actions I have the, sometimes overwhelming, task to show the royalty in our DNA and prove we are not America's image of us. The flaws within myself hinder me from meeting requirements 3-5.

3. Sacrifice- A simple enough concept, but often a phrase used in vain. True sacrifice needs no presentation, it is obvious. One of the lessons learned in Economy in high school was opportunity cost; the principal difference between man and God. By creating one thing or committing time, money, focus, or other tangible and non-tangible resources to a certain thing you, by force of nature, neglect something else that could have used those same resources. The universe works with a bartering system; to receive, you must give. No Sacrifice, No Reward. 

4. Planning- 7 Habits of Highly Effective People instructs to begin with the end in mind. This "end" which is envisioned can be reached a number of ways. Planning is a working GPS on how to get to that goal. It keeps you from getting lost and lets you know your distance from your destination. It only works when you follow the directions; in other words plan effective.

5. Discipline- This is probably the hardest requirement to meet. It takes in count aspects from each other requirement. Doing Things that don't have foreseeable benefit or outcome makes it really tough to keep doing them through a struggle or "the struggle" (and I guarantee it's real). The essence of sacrifice is giving up something you want for something you want more. Discipline maintains that no matter how you feel or how much easier it is to get something you want you still overlook it for what you want more. Planning was related metaphorically to a GPS but discipline is staying the course even in traffic jams, car trouble, or inclement weather. Discipline requires focus and values not just hard work and determination. 

These are the requirements. Wondering why you aren't successful yet? Which requirement are you lacking. These are just my reflections on these simple requirements for success. What are your requirements? Your Purpose? Your Struggle?

When It's Too Late

I've been absent from the blog game for a few weeks, but I have been thinking of many ideas. I think it's about time I continue sharing my brilliant point of view with the rest of you. This snap shot into my mind reveals my two cents on the issue of being a day late and a dollar short, especially when it comes to romantic interest.

Am I the only one that noticed that as soon as you make your mind up to stop dealing with a person, they decide they're going to make all the changes you were begging them to make?

I've seen tears cried, heard begging pleas, and saw groveling all because that person had made a mistake (as we all do) that cost them a future with me. At the time I was torn in between guffaws and pity. It really is sad how much a person can be hurt by their own stupid decision, but its funny as well. Like oh you crying now, you wasn't crying when you was all up in dude face, making a mockery of my trust, and "Doing You." Soon as they see you mean business they want to apologize, delete numbers, call and tell the other person "we can't talk anymore," etc.  For why though? From the very start (or soon there after) you knew what it was between us, but I guess it didn't mean anything to you. That's why you played around. One aspect of a game is losing is always a possibility.   Congrats you lose... "I don't care if (you) cry blood right now." A few other things that are heat of the moment words that I want leave here.

This situation usually hurts the most when you break rule number 1 see (5 Rules To Life). So even though that person did you wrong, you have to step back and realize you opened that door.  You gave them your trust, you believed in them, you gave them that opportunity. Many times we end up in this situation with people that did little or nothing to earn that which we have given them. So yeah, it's your fault just as much as it is theirs.

My advice is not as you may expect. I'm not going to say don't talk to them anymore, stop loving them, stop dealing with them. Instead, make sure that they go through the proper channels to earn that which they have lost. After all we all make mistakes, some of us learn from them and others don't. This is much too sensitive a subject make an across the board decision. BUT if you encounter the same problem with the same person after they have done the grunt work of getting back in your good graces it's no longer a mistake and that's the end of that.

I just thought of a really good part 2 but I would hate to overwhelm my readers, so tune in to my next blog When It's Too Late-2

Who Are You Really?

The definition of a person is a complicated thing to address, for a number of reasons. I will do my best to tackle this issue despite its difficulty.  

We use many different ways to define a person. Any where from name to place of origin to physical description. 

I'll define myself using the aforementioned qualities.

Patrick aka Slim aka Stacks

Nicholtown\Greenville\South Carolina

Tall, Slim, Handsome ( don't agree? Rule #5)

All these things may remind you who I am or even bring a picture of how I look to mind, but it does little to actually tell you WHO I AM?

I am God incarnate.  I am a son, brother, nephew, cousin, and FATHER. I'm a combination of events and experiences that contributed to the molding of my mind. I am the lessons my mother, family, friends and associates, teachers, and even strangers have taught. I am the hardened broken heart. I am the once, but never again, foolish person that has been taken advantage of, hustled, robbed, disrespected, unappreciated, incarcerated (no convictions), embarrassed (by myself), lied to, and disappointed. I am the intelligent, weird, outspoken, young black man that as of December 14 will have a BS in Physics.  

Obviously I'm a lot of things, but this isn't an autobiography. I say all that to confront a very important issue... How can you change me? 

Can you go back and keep my homies from tryna holla at my daughter's mom? Can you go back and stop my mom from crying as I roll my sleeves for those bracelets? Can you stop me from drinking that night and losing the love of my life? Can you bring my grandma back? Can you go back and shield my eyes and ears from the sights and sounds of the hood? 

Ok, then. Don't set your eyes on an unattainable goal. You can change a person no better than you can save a horse that's dying of thirst by leading it to pond. In both cases the need is present, but if the desire isn't there. You're entertaining a living corpse.

That being said, don't attempt to change a person. Attempt to educate a person on the importance of growth, give them something for which to change, give them a choice, and then give em a chance.

P.S.- EaG@L- Eastside Guerrillas @ Large, I put on for my city cause I left and spread the word about Nicholtown/Greenville niggas. You ain't putting on if you ain't going no where.

5 Rules To Life

There is a set of 5 rules by which I govern myself in my day to day. I feel that mastery of these 5 will give you an advantage in most fetes you set out to accomplish. As i continue to blog I will be giving anecdotes and examples of how each can be used in a few examples.

1. NEVER Get Your Emotions Involved- What usually seems like uncontrollable feelings and thoughts many times causes us to make decision that we often regret, say things we don't truly mean, or lose things for which we may or may not have worked so diligently. By allowing yourself time to step back, calm down, and analyze the situation and the consequences of your reactions both short and long term and best and worst case scenarios you become much more effective at decision maKING.
2. Avoid Pettiness- Let me begin this explanation of this rule by simply giving the definitions of petty, the first being, "of little importance; trivial" and the second, "of secondary or lesser importance, rank, or scale; minor." Now that we got the definition out the way the next thing, I wanna address is that IT'S OK TO THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN OTHER PEOPLE. Let's just be honest we all think it; there's no shame in it. If you find people engaging in activities or conversations of little importance, or with people that are less than you are, turn and run like hell. We have a choice to stay and entertain certain situation that do no benefit to any of us. So much unnecessary drama and aggravation can be avoided by avoiding pettiness.
3. Don't Procrastinate- This personally is one of the toughest rules for me, and they're my rules; but what that being said I would probably rate this as the most important. DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO WHEN YOU CAN, AND THERE WILL BE NO WORRIES WHEN YOU CAN'T. The last statement involves a continuous race against time and the spending of funds. For myself personally, and I'm sure most of us, no matter how hard we try to save it seems our money slowly evaporates from our accounts or pockets. And no matter how you spend your time it will continue to pass you by. Spending your last moments before a deadline reflecting on your completed project or relishing in the moment knowing that bill has been paid is a lot better than pulling all nighters, shuffling funds, etc. This relieves a lot of stress. 
4. Be Consistent- This one will probably be the easiest to elaborate upon. It's simple, once you have failed to procrastinate, keep it up. Nothing can be ever be accomplished when you stop in the middle of a task.  The drive and determination you have at the beginning of the race should be same type of drive you cross the finish line with. This helps combat feelings of defeat and unworthiness.
5. Don't Give A Fuck- There are better, more appropriate ways to state this rule but none of which I feel express the attitude that comes along with it. People will always have negative things to say about you as you try to complete a task, fuck 'em. It's none of their concern, and their life should be none of your concern as well. Unless you're "The Most Interesting Man in the World" you will surely experience some type of failure, but unless you fail so epic-ly that your death results you have another chance. Don't carry disappointment with you for your second, third, etc.  attempts. Hold your head up and take pride as you do things that MAKE YOU HAPPY, after all you're #1 in your own life.

Try to implement these for one day and see how effective they are in your life. If they work for you continue to use them and work towards mastering them.